Whilst some folk have been waiting in trepidation for the end of the world tomorrow (according to the Mayans in case you have missed the happy news) I have been waiting for the wall to fall down. Over the last couple of weeks it has bulged ominously, taunting me and entering my dreams. My journey into work this morning was more white water rafting than driving, so I had an inkling it would be an eventful day. I have prepared for the inevitable the best I could, which involved crossing fingers that it wouldn’t collapse over Christmas or hurt anyone in the process, bollards were ready for strategic placing and an emergency chain of action arranged. So when today it eventually succumbed to gravity and I stood alone examining the damage in the pouring rain I was relieved in a perverse kind of way. To give it fair dues it fell very elegantly, not encroaching onto the road too far, rather draping itself at the edge. I also knew there was a lot more to come.
Firstly it was to the Baz Phone, to summon Superbaz of course. “Yippee” says the great SB “just what I wanted to do in the pouring rain” (was there a little irony there) but he promised come over to make it safe and help clear up. And then the buses began to arrive. First came Damage to offer help and succour. Then SB, almost on time, and that is not even North Devon time! Someone out of the two of us (not me) decided it would be best to barrow the stones up the hill to the entrance and pile them up for use in the rebuild. So that is exactly what we did. Next came Hero who cleverly brought back-up in the form of Lawnmower Man and Son of Lawnmower Man. After much debate it was decided that the hedge should be cut so that the roots would continue to hold the garden in place (hopefully) but the sail effect would not make it fall into the road. Although this almost entailed SOLM plummeting through the hedge into the road, it was successful and the Lawn Boys dragged it up the hill and over into the Black Pit. Then the Damage Crew arrived (having previously been consultants) and took a turn on the barrow. In a couple of hours all was tidy, the wall stripped back to safe stones and my heart was at ease. A special mention to The Artist who innocently texted to ask how I was this morning, found out and checked up on me during the day! It is good to have friends and I give thanks for every one of them.
So all I am waiting for now, in anticipation not trepidation, is Father Christmas. I will be very upset if the world ends before he arrives.
I think that mine and Hero’s elf ears helped significantly. Do not be embarrassed by our sophistication, we were just born with it.