CSI Lee Bay – Cliffe Side Investigation


The weather was much more condusive to survival today, but due the scaredy cat nature of the Head Gardener it was only now, when the wind had dropped and the sun even showed an ankle, I had the nerve to investigate/come across by pure chance, any damage.

First the facts.  On Monday a tree fell across the road that bissects the garden.  This gave the local bobby the chance to use his roll of “cordoning off” tape and guard the area and until he got bored, it was pasty time or someone was caught shoplifting in the Co-op.  The road was closed for most of the day except to myself who explained to the diligent Constable that I would run under the tree and if it fell on me not only would he be a hero when he rescued me but would probably make Spotlight South West (not sure this actually exists anymore).  He looked a little concerned that he might have to get out of his car but didn’t put up much of a fight, the glory too much to resist.  Farmer Hunt also got through his defences by just ignoring the signs and limbo-ing (in his car I hasten to add) under all hazards. In fact I held the tape up for him and gave him one of my cheery waves, us rebels must stick together.  This tree belonged to our neighbour and was balanced elegantly on the BT cables and everyone was waiting until, I presume, the designated tree surgeons arrived to sort out the problem.

Now we get to the hazy conjecture.  What I can surmise is that a little bit of an oops occurred during the removal of the tree and it must have fallen against our cliff side fence, in the process breaking the horizontal.  This is why the police tape was wrapped around it and not as I previously had deduced, after my initial investigations whilst doing a slow drive by, that they couldn’t be bothered to clear it up so just wrapped it around to stop it flapping about.  I will defend my misguidance as they do have “previous”, this is exactly what they had done further up the road!

So having worked out the perp of this crime, I moved into the cottage garden area to discover that the mature Garrya elliptica had been stripped of one of its larger limbs with another equally stout bough a part-amputee, hanging at a jaunty angle over the gate.  This meant a trudge back up the hill to get the pruning saw (big sighs) and between myself (chief balancer and sawster) and Hero (adjuster of said bough) managed to remove and tidy the victim.  The guilty party in this case will be harder to pin down.



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6 responses to “CSI Lee Bay – Cliffe Side Investigation

  1. Bruggies

    Gosh what an exciting life you lead

    • Never a dull moment, I was hoping to unwind the tape and use it at my convenience. I think I had better leave it in place until the fence is fixed, wouldn’t want anyone plummeting over the edge whilst admiring the view.

  2. Beats Agatha Christie any day!

  3. Katy Young

    Flagrant disregard for the local law Madame Heavens! 🙂

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