My life is a never-ending battle against those who wish to thwart me. A large proportion of these war-mongers have four legs, including the devil dressed in deer’s clothing who has eaten the heads from the recently showcased tulips. However the ongoing conflict in the greenhouse (against the narcoleptic mouse with poltergeist tendencies) has reached crisis point; its spiteful destroying of seedlings has led me to call in The Special Forces. This secret army was luckily not out on manoeuvres and brought with them their own high specialised weapons, a plank and plastic coated washing line. With these raw materials they constructed an ingenious and vermin baffling shelf in the rafters on which to store my vulnerable seedling. Not so clever now Mickey, don’t mess with the Damage Crew!